I had a dream,
which turned into a mirage...
I'm beginning to wonder now as to why everything i believed in is slowly breaking out of the perfect mould that it was in and coming out as an ugly, in-the-face truth.
i feel helpless sometimes; and all i want to do is run out and complain and do whatever necessary to correct things around me. but i just feel like im stupefied. plain stupefied.
The shallowness in people and situations is making me disillusioned with life and the very purpose of existence. not that im tilting towards another one of those self-discovery kind of posts looking for meaning in life...actually, i have just stopped looking. stopped looking for a soul,wondering about the purpose of having a conscience.
the level of hypocrisy and shallowness in people around me is making me wonder about the very existence of things like morals and principles. like they say: 'promises are made to be broken'; maybe morals and principles are there to be forgotten.
im not trying to be an idealistic person here, but i dont know what i am trying to do here either. what i do know is that there is no soul in the world today.
i always dreamt of a world; a not-so-perfect world but a world that could have been perfected; but slowly and steadily im being introduced to world whose ways are just too different from what i ever expected to confront; a world where the concept of a 'friend' is either non-existent or way too garbled for me understand. a friend for me is one in whom you can confide in just about everything and whose presence is in its simplest form; reassuring. but the world that im rudely waking up to is a world where friends are people you go out drinking with and do anything but confide in coz u never know what this 'friend' can turn out to be...and yaa his presence will be reassuring only when he is there to foot the bill with you; but before and after that he is just a prick who is out there to take advantage of your fat wallet.
i dunno where i went wrong in dreaming about my perfect world, or maybe thats where i went wrong...in expecting that there can be a perfect world.
maybe im overreacting or maybe im too immature to understand the way the world functions or maybe im just not meant to be a part of this world...
I'm beginning to wonder now as to why everything i believed in is slowly breaking out of the perfect mould that it was in and coming out as an ugly, in-the-face truth.
i feel helpless sometimes; and all i want to do is run out and complain and do whatever necessary to correct things around me. but i just feel like im stupefied. plain stupefied.
The shallowness in people and situations is making me disillusioned with life and the very purpose of existence. not that im tilting towards another one of those self-discovery kind of posts looking for meaning in life...actually, i have just stopped looking. stopped looking for a soul,wondering about the purpose of having a conscience.
the level of hypocrisy and shallowness in people around me is making me wonder about the very existence of things like morals and principles. like they say: 'promises are made to be broken'; maybe morals and principles are there to be forgotten.
im not trying to be an idealistic person here, but i dont know what i am trying to do here either. what i do know is that there is no soul in the world today.
i always dreamt of a world; a not-so-perfect world but a world that could have been perfected; but slowly and steadily im being introduced to world whose ways are just too different from what i ever expected to confront; a world where the concept of a 'friend' is either non-existent or way too garbled for me understand. a friend for me is one in whom you can confide in just about everything and whose presence is in its simplest form; reassuring. but the world that im rudely waking up to is a world where friends are people you go out drinking with and do anything but confide in coz u never know what this 'friend' can turn out to be...and yaa his presence will be reassuring only when he is there to foot the bill with you; but before and after that he is just a prick who is out there to take advantage of your fat wallet.
i dunno where i went wrong in dreaming about my perfect world, or maybe thats where i went wrong...in expecting that there can be a perfect world.
maybe im overreacting or maybe im too immature to understand the way the world functions or maybe im just not meant to be a part of this world...
posted by etoile at Saturday, April 29, 2006
2 Comments:
Imagination & reality! two different things. One keeps you going...luring you..the other pinches you with stark/startling experiences.disappointments etc.,. I am not trying to worsen things..But very few things in life keep you going..making it worthwhile.I neednt tell what they are because i know that even you care for those little things in life..where the profound happiness lies.Friends and friendships are among them. If someone is trying to take advantage, then he/she cannot be your friend at all. Remember, friendship is a sweet responsibility...never an opportunity.
Get back to life...but do ruminate in your blog, coz you always have a visitor...who is a good friend.Trust me.
@akarsh: point taken
@willfully: been there done that :)
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